walking in the forest nearby watching the birds and the fog rising when the sun is setting,
trying to understand myself some things from this intense time, like how it is important to take the space for your body and soul if you can... fly ... spread your wings and do it ! ! ! *
i m happy that my father answered to me in our last moments when i said : the only important thing is that we are together now.., " yes, and from here we can get to anything we want, you too ! ! ! trying to keep distance to my mothers wishes for me to stay here, in her way of making me feel guilty, : you always think only of yourself, ...you cant imagine how i am feeling...
of course she in her situation cant imagine how i am feeling here and there and in between, trapped and ... struggling to stay free.
just because i wanted to decide to leave earlier for the funeral of my father, to be away from here, have some calm, and still staying in between the worlds of sadness moving , in between the worlds of death and sickness*