I wish I wouldnt care about you anymore, youre a crazy maker.. thats people who drive me crazy cause they think about me, but they dont reach out.. that would like to be with me, but they think they arent good for me (and maybe they are right) but dont wanna try and find out.. people who I cant let go of, or I do.. but I dont, cause we didnt try or because I am the crazy maker.. 

Cant be that hard.. 

Btw, I wanna change that blog that noone reads.. into my Healing diary ! 

Yes. Stop moping around, but write something thats healing me everyday.. 

Things I need to remember to do, in order to live fully, happy, sad, whatever but.. alive and not scared of living. But living and enjoying it. Uplifting !

Like.. 

Bodypainting

Caressing

Dancing

Bodywork

Singing

Being with interesting people 

Friends

Swimming

.. being in the forest/ sea/ ocean/rain.. 

Having moments of awe * :) 

Listening to people and to the rain.. and everything that brings me joy and wisdom

Talking what needs to be said

I know I do things wrong, or they feel wrong. But I gotta do them, even though they feel wrong, cause I feel like I gotta do them.. what else can I do. Would I be living my life if I was doing things that other people might think are right for me, for my life.. maybe even someone inside me.. that has another opininon then me .. No. But I think even if it feels wrong, maybe the feeling wrong is just a habit, a pattern. And what I decide to do is what I do, is what I am, is who I am, is how I live my life. 

I dont like it. Some of it. F.e. I dont like that noone is reading this blog. And I dont find out how to have readers.. I wanna share, I wanna connect with my writing. 

I do like listening to the pouring rain out there, and someone singing at home for a while now, sounds cute :) makes me feel safe and cozy.. kinda.. 

I guess human kind is comming to an end soonish.. so I wish I could enjoy the rest of our days.. somehow.. 

Fingers crossed. 

Lets have a good life.