If youre riding a dead horse, get off. 

Yeah.. I m without words, for my life. Finally I have a lot of days silence, even no work.. thanx to Covid cases.. 

Not very good for my sanity. It is also not good for my sanity to be here. 

Berlin feels like an empty place. Full of people who dont care, who just consum and party and dont give a shit about each other, not really. So I am very wrong here. Very lonely, and I guess I cant get over not being there for my speechless, motionless sister. I cant. I feel incredible guilt. For not being there, for being a loser in general.. for being the healthy one. At least physically.. 

Help. I need help.